Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Videogres Ponder a Satanic Meat Cleaver Massacre

We’ve had the last few weeks off, which has caused us to run out of discussion episodes. As such, this week we’re giving you a film commentary for Satanic Meat Cleaver Massacre. It’s an experience. But rather than the experience of watching the film, the important part is the philosophical questions it raises about meat cleaver massacres in general.

For one, aren’t meat cleaver massacres inherently satanic? If not, how does one go about having a Christian meat cleaver massacre? We discuss these questions in the episode, but we don’t give them the consideration they deserve.

In this way, the film is fertile ground for deep thought, not only about meat cleaver massacres, but about the nature of life, and god, and how a movie like this becomes a thing.

One thing is for sure, though. The world is a better place for having Satanic Meat Cleaver Massacre. Watch it. Find our commentary on Itunes or HERE. Take time to ponder.

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Adam Proselytizes

Join the Videogres as Adam tells us all about Poppy.

Poppy isn’t a robot, guys. Though we felt pretty sure that we were on to something there, it just didn’t pan out. She’s a real person, not a lot lizard, and not a satanist (that we know of).

Still, the Videogres hold out hope that one day in the near future we’ll be able to join hands and joyously beat a robot to death together. Today, however, is not that day, no matter how much Westworld makes us want to believe that it is.

We still don’t know what Poppy is, exactly, but I think it’s safe to say that we can learn a lot from her eldritch powers.

Hail Poppy?

Find the podcast in Itunes, or here.

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Videogres Discuss – Conspiracies

This is just between you and me, okay?

The Videogres are talking Conspiracy Theories in our latest episode.

Yes, we’ve been gone a while. We were in deep-cover. Serpico. Wigs, hats, glasses, the whole nine. Adam almost died by jumping in front of a false-flag.

Go listen to the episode. Make our sacrifice mean something. You can find it on our blog. Also Itunes.

They are watching.

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The Videogres Buy a Hard Ticket to Hawaii

You: Does it have killer snakes?

Us: Yes.

You: Does it have Bladed frisbees?

Us: Does the pope shit in the woods? Of course.

You: Does it have bazooka Snipers?

Us: What are we, amateurs? Yes, it’s got Bazooka Snipers.

You: But does it have feathered hair?

Us: You calling us bush-league? IT’S GOT MORE FEATHERED HAIR THAN YOU CAN HANDLE, GUY.

Join the Videogres as they discuss: Haard Ticket…to Ha-WhaaaaaaAAAAaaaaa-eeeeeee!

Find it at our blog, or on Itunes.

 

 

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The Videogres Ponder the Shells in Demolition Man

It’s funny how life works sometimes.

The first time I watched Demolition Man, I hated it. Now, twenty-four years later, after watching it a second time, I think it’s fair to say that I saw a completely different movie this time around. The question, then, is which of us changed? Me, or Demolition Man?

I’m gonna go with me on this one, though I wouldn’t put it past our Lizard-People overlords to alter Demolition Man just to mess with me.

Maybe it’s age? Maybe I’ve learned to see the world through new eyes. Maybe I’ve learned to love. Maybe I’ve danced in the rain, like no one was watching. Maybe it’s ironic, don’t you think? Maybe I’ve fallen in love again, for the first time, for the second time, for the first time. Maybe I’ve learned to let my smile change the world, but to never let  the world change my smile. Maybe, just maybe, during those times when there was only one set of footprints on that beach, the Demolition Man was carrying me.

Side question: Who was the Demolition Man, anyway? Was it Snipes or Stallone? I mean, Snipes blew up more shit, but Stallone was wiping his ass with foreign objects and falling in love with rat-meat burgers. Shouldn’t the movie have been called Demolition Men? I digress.

Upon second viewing, I saw beyond the veil and into the deep, throbbing core of Demolition Man. You know what I saw? It might surprise you. I saw a movie that was an even bigger piece of shit than I had initially thought. I saw through the shittiness and saw even more shittiness behind that first shittiness. I’ll bet if I live long enough to see through that second level of shittiness that I’ll see even more shittiness. I’ll bet it’s shittiness all the way through.

You can download our commentary for Demolition Ma(e)n at out Libsyn page, or via Itunes. So go do that already.

P.S. The Deathstalker contest is still on, you fucking monsters. Stop withholding your affection from us.

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The Videogres Finish Something

One of the great mysteries of my life has been why this week’s movie was called Ninja III: The Domination.  To my knowledge, there are no Ninja I, or Ninja II. Or at least that’s what I thought until we began recording, at which point Pete brought the walls of my world crashing down by mentioning that he’d always thought that this was the final in a triad comprised of Enter the Ninja, Revenge of the Ninja, and Ninja III: The Domination.

It made sense. Sho Kosugi is the common bond between the three, along with the general overarching theme of ninjadom. Beyond that, there’s not much cohesion. But did anyone really think there would be? I’m still not even sure I understand what was going on in any of these films, with the exception of a whole lotta ass-kicking, courtesy of the aforementioned Sho Kosugi.

Sho Kosugi’s ass-kicking is a language older and more powerful than words, is what I’m trying to say. That, and that this is probably a part of a crazy trilogy of ninja films that I watched countless times as a child, at no point realizing that they were related.

No one ever accused me of being sharp.

Join us as we watch the final in a trilogy I had no idea existed. Our Commentary for Ninja III: The Domination can be downloaded from Itunes or our Libsyn page.

Best of luck!

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A Brief Message From Android Cop

Guys, please stop comparing me to Robocop. You act like the world only needs one cop robot. There’s plenty of room for all. Frankly, I’ve got a tremendous amount of respect for RC. The guy was a legend and he paved the way for the rest of us.

I mean, people will go out on a Friday night and pay to hear some asshole sing Willy Nelson covers, but we can’t have one other robot cop without people drawing frivolous comparisons?

My god you humans are a test.

Download the Videogres commentary for Android Cop on Itunes, or via our Libsyn page.

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The Videogres Watch as a Ninja Avenges Himself; Also, a Contest.

Have you ever wondered who can kill a ninja? Spoiler Alert: Only a Ninja can do it! Was that even from this movie? I can’t remember. We might be talking Enter the Ninja right now, or American Ninja, or Ninja III: The Domination, or Ninja Nightmare, or Ninja Assassin or Ninjas Take Manhattan. But let’s not beat around the bush about it. This week’s movie is Revenge of the Ninja.

It’s got all the hallmarks of a great Ninja movie: flips, car chases, swords, shurikens in eyeballs, (keistered?) smoke-bombs, dolls, those magical gang-signs some Ninjas do prior to engaging in combat. It’s got everything. Everything. So go download our commentary for it from our Libsyn page, or Itunes. Frankly we don’t give a shit, as long as you download it.

NOW! TO BUSINESS! As mentioned in this week’s episode, it’s contest time. Add a comment to this post with your suggestion for the next movie we should watch, along with an explanation of why we should watch it. We’ll select a winner based on the quality of the suggestion/logic combination, and that fortunate person will receive a copy of Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Sword and Sorcery Collection, featuring Deathstalker, Deathstalker II, The Warrior, and The Sorceress and the Barbarian Queen.

Please Note: I haven’t scene some of these, and can’t comment on their content, but they are rated R. As such, don’t bother entering this contest unless you’re of an appropriate age (18 at least) and disposition to endure the 80’s barbarian-film genre and all it has to offer. And really, if you aren’t 18 yet, you’ve got a lot of explaining to do regarding why you’re listening to our podcast in the first place. 

Best of luck!

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The Videogres Are Not Dead

Well hello, everyone. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I welshed on my promise to have a new episode and some exciting and potentially (not) life-changing contest details for you. For that, I apologize.

To be fair, I apologize a lot and most of the time I don’t really mean it. This time is different. What we have is special and I’ve sullied the waters of our lagoon of peace with my actions. I’m sorry.

Normally in these circumstances I would release an old episode. Problem is, the hard drive with all of the old episodes is temporarily missing. And even if I had it, I’d have to tack on some bullshit about the life-changing (not) contest, and I’d really hoped to have a longer dialogue about it, rather than just recording the podcast equivalent of a five minute infomercial. It’s best to let these things breath and stretch out. I’m sure you understand.

So here’s my remediation plan to regain your trust. It’s a five point plan.

  • Point 1 – I will begin a quest to find the missing hard drive. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Today.
  • Point 2 – Once I’ve located the missing hard drive, I will edit and release a new episode.
  • Point 3 – Because I am a worthless layabout, unworthy of your friendship, I will increase the already staggering rewards of our contest.
  • Point 4 – I will release on-time episodes for the foreseeable future to mend this rift. On time in this context meaning the standard fuzzy-window of Videogre deadlines (from Saturday evening to Monday evening, roughly).
  • Point 5 – I will stay cool this summer. I will chill, party, and chill, and never change. You have my word.

I think we can all agree that these are generous terms. Am I forgiven?

The Videogres Go Down Under

Crikey! The Videogres are watching Crocodile Dundee this week. You’d be wise to check it out.

Also, tune in to next week’s episode for some news on an exciting new contest we’re hosting. It just might change your life*.

Find our exploration of Crocodile Dundee here, or on Itunes.

 

*It will not change your life.

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