Tag Archives: Podcast

The Videogres Go Down Under

Crikey! The Videogres are watching Crocodile Dundee this week. You’d be wise to check it out.

Also, tune in to next week’s episode for some news on an exciting new contest we’re hosting. It just might change your life*.

Find our exploration of Crocodile Dundee here, or on Itunes.

 

*It will not change your life.

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The Great Videogres Relaunch

We’ve been down, but we’re not out. After nearly two months of nothing, the Videogres Podcast will relaunch this weekend, bigger and better than ever. And by that I mean it will be pretty much the same, though this time around we promise to keep up with our posting schedule and our blog-posting.

Come back and visit us on Saturday, October 8th. You just might catch a glimpse of the man in the pants with the diamond-gusseted crotch.

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Adam Decides to Summon that which Cannot be

 

Adam’s Demon Summoning to-do list:

  • Contact Morton’s Salt as a potential sponsor.
  • Contact Ginsu as a potential sacrificial dagger sponsor.
  • Watch The Gate/The Gate II the necessary number of times to commit to memory Terry’s best practices for demon summoning.
  • Purchase an Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians album. Maybe some King Diamond, too.
  • Persuade the Wizard to divulge his secrets. (What’s in the Basket?)
  • Collect a quantity of salt (enough to form a decent summoning circle) that has hit the Devil in the eye at least one time.
  • Do push-ups.
  • Purchase an Avon Necronomicon.
  • Locate an antique Ouija board – preferably radioactive.

 

Once the summoning is complete, ask the Demon whether Rey is a Solo – despite the fact that Dan has provided several water-tight arguments refuting this theory.

For further reference, download the Videogres podcast from Libsyn or Itunes.

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My Speech to the Graduating Class of 1999, as portrayed in the movie Class of 1999

Well gang, i’d be lying if I said this hasn’t been quite a year.

Where to begin?

I think we’re all still reeling from the death of Sonny Culp, first of all. Addiction is a terrible thing, but being forcefully overdosed by a crazed cyborg in the hallway of your school is a real bummer, you know? Not to mention the fact that we were never truly allowed to morn Sonny’s passing, given the immediate outbreak of war between the Blackhearts and Razorheads, which then spilled over into an apocalyptic fracas between the students and our murderous robotic faculty.

Yep. Quite a year. It’s hard to believe that I graduated only two short years ago. We had a water balloon fight at my school. Forget Edge, back in my day we thought Peppermint Schnapps was a crazy time. Our teachers just beat us with their words and hands, not military ordnance fired from a futuristic robotic hand cannon. But what am I doing? Taking a trip down memory lane? Suffice it to say that it was a simpler time back in those days. One wonders how things changed so much.

Then of course we come to the death of Angel Culp. Tiny, sweet, freaky little Angel. He never really looked right, but I think that’s one of the reasons we all loved him so. And the way he went…Dying early is terrible under any circumstances, but to have a robot kill you by smashing you against a wall, it’s just…

*WIPES FACE, REGAINS COMPOSURE*

Angel was a freaky little dude and he didn’t deserve what he got. And who can forget missus Culp, faced with the prospect of buying two caskets for two sons, all the while supporting her own raging drug habit. From what I understand, she was able to save some money by burying Angel and Sonny in the same casket, but that’s cold comfort to a mother, I’m sure.

Beyond the staggering loss of life and the catastrophic failure of our Cyborg Teacher pilot program, we’re also dealing with the complete destruction of our beloved school, during which we lost numerous unnamed Blackhearts and Razorheads. Thankfully Cody Culp made it out alive, but only after being forced to kill one of the teachers with a forklift. That’s the kind of thing that stays with a person for a lifetime, Cody, but we’re all glad you did it, and that’s why you’re this year’s Valedictorian, despite the fact that you’re barely literate, have nowhere near the required amount of credits necessary for graduation, and that you’ve spent less than three days in school over the last five years combined. Also, let’s face facts, you were never cut-out for work in the corporate sector. You’ll probably wind up telemarketing or something. So congratulations on that diploma and thanks for killing those Cyborgs. Say hi to your mother for me.

Advice. What advice can I offer you that you haven’t already gleaned from the collective near-death experience we’ve all just endured? For one, if you’re ever approached by a mega-corporation offering you demilitarized cyborgs as teacher stand-ins, you’re going to want to take a hard pass on that one. Second, if the trends in this school year are any indicator of the future, as I believe they are, it’s a good time to invest in Edge, junk-piles, and caskets. Also, don’t bother quitting your gang in an attempt to go straight; it’s a recipe for disaster and you’ll undoubtedly end up right back where you started. Bonus: behave in class, because you never know when a teacher might chuck you against a wall or fill your mouth with vials of illicit drugs and smash your head in a locker.

Also, guys, wear sunscreen. Thank you. Goodnight.

(The Videogres Podcommentary for the smash-hit, award-winning science fiction masterpiece Class of 1999 can be found on their Libsyn page, or by searching Videogres on ITunes.)

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The Videogres go Over the Top

We at the Videogres like to think of ourselves as deep thinkers. We don’t trifle with small-time thinking or low-shelf philosophy.

Existence? Been there. Afterlife? Done that. Ghosts? Who the hell hasn’t? None of this really gets at the meat, does it?

We do. The Videogres get at the meat.

As such, we’ve decided to take on one of the most important questions of this (or really, any) century: what is the best long-haul trucking movie ever made.

Research begins today, with Over the Top.

Research is now finished. Over the Top is the best. You can go home now, sleep safe, maybe do a little recreational armwrestling, if that’s your thing. But first, go download our latest podcast, in which we comment upon the wonder that is Over the Top. It’s on Itunes.

Rest easy. We figured it out. You’re welcome.

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The Videogres Draw First Blood

If you haven’t already noticed, our newest commentary is now available on ITunes. This week, we watched the Sylvester Stallone opus, Rambo: First Blood Part One.

Sylvester Stallone, as well-groomed, feather-haired, knife-toting galoot John Rambo, versus drifter-hating, buckskin-coat wearing, calm-keeping officer Will Teasle. What’s to say that hasn’t already been said in the pages upon pages of critical analysis devoted to this film? Not much. Not much indeed. But somehow, some way, the Videogres manage to sound the depths of this deep water and find the hidden threads of wisdom and whimsy that only John Rambo can offer.

Please note: We’re open for film suggestions. Contact us at Videogres (At) Gmail (dot) com, if you’ve got a film (available online on Netflix or Amazon streaming) that needs watching. We’re ready. We’re strong. We’re the Videogres.

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The Videogres are alive! And hanging out with the Children of the Corn and maybe Richard Karn, too!

The Videogres are officially alive. Go search for us on Itunes and you’ll see.

…You’ll see.

Now let me tell you a confusing story. Twelve months ago, we began recording this podcast. We’re releasing our first episode now, though it’s really not our first episode. In fact, it’s probably like our 40th or 50th episode. Over the course of the last twelve months, between procrastination and a dickered computer that torched a handful of episodes, we just kind of kept on recording and recording and recording.

And suddenly, a mere twelve months later, we coalesce from the internet fog and drop an episode on Itunes.

Does it make sense? Maybe not. But we’d like to think that He Who Walks Behind the Rows appreciates our dilligence anyway. Which brings me to my next point…

Our first episode, Children of the Corn, is now available on Itunes. It would warm the cockles of our cold, dead hearts if you’d go listen.

You can also find it here.

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